Value Who You Are, Not What You Do

Do you know someone who defines themselves by what they do? Does their career or personal accomplishments or failures make them happy or sad? Do you know someone who wallows in sorrow at the first sign of difficulty, challenge, or hurdle? If they cannot succeed at work, do they take it out on their spouses or friends or children when they come home? Are you that person? Am I that person?

At a marriage conference called Life to Remember, the audience was encouraged to do something very important - Value Who You Are, Not What You Do.

Luckily I was a part of this audience and I heard the message loud and clear. Hear the message loud and clear. We cannot anticipate the certainty of difficulties and problems nor can we always respond properly to them or guarantee control of results from our actions.

I have a small Post-It Note at work filled with short three word reminders to keep me grounded. One reminder says - Let go of results.

This means that to begin each day with who I am. Socrates said, "Man, know thyself." I assess myself. I perform work throughout the day based on who I am - I do the best that I can. I work from my soul - the center of my being - the inner me. After that, regardless of what happens, I let go of the results. I treat each day as a learning laboratory. The results do not dictate happiness or sadness - the person I am dictates that. Has anyone ever told you after a negative event - "Don't beat yourself up? They are saying let go of results - you are not your results. I encourage you to begin to live in self. This means using our responses to results to draw us closer to our true self. Show who you are. Be defined by who you are. Be remembered for the type of person you were - not the job you did. At any funeral I have ever attended, the message is usually either about "who someone was" or "what someone did". If the message was primarily about "what someone did", it is because no one remembered or knew "who they were".

Maintain emotional consistency by developing a sound inner foundation. View challenges, successes and failures as opportunities to build on, refine, or develop your inner self. Start to value who you are.

Ask yourself the following important questions:

Who am I? What is important to me? How do I respond to failure? How do I respond to success? Does my job define me? How do people describe me? By my results only? How would I describe myself? Do failures and successes define me?  Do I live in self?

What life experiences challenge you or prevent you from knowing who you are?  How do you overcome them?