JUST BREATHE

I spent my late teens and early 20s being attracted to the wrong people who were not prepared to invest on the level I was.  I looked at people who were uniquely challenging and I saw them as being worth more due to their unavailability and I assigned qualities to them that perhaps they didn't have. I thought people were out of my league or hard to get and I chased them.  

I couldn't think of someone I truly loved and cared about. My family didn't raise me using words like love and caring.  In fact, I didn't 'love' my dad and I probably knew I cared about my mom. I wouldn't say I loved my siblings. I could not and did not think of myself in the light of what treatment I deserved and so I accepted far less than what I deserved all the time in that time.  

Yes, now I know differently about love but my foundation is what it is and it haunts me and lives in me. It is for fear of judgment that I don't write more about my reflections on my 20s.  My truth is the truth of so many....one day I will write it. 



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