Examining Our Circle

I went to a Santana concert recently with a friend. Santana said “Your mind is a magnet. You do not attract what you need or what you want; you attract who you are.” I immediately felt a sense of gratitude for the friend that had so graciously invited me to the concert and began to reflect on the rest of my friends and professional associates. The phrase “you are the company you keep” kept playing in my mind. You can change friends as you transition from childhood to adulthood. As I have grown older, the company I have kept has either evolved or changed. Are we the company we keep? Who are we?

Live in Self is about being present and aware. Walk with me through a short mental exercise.

Examine you and your circle. Keep things honest here. You are doing this alone, and there is no need to lie to yourself.

• Think about the top five people you spend time with. What are they like? What do you like about them? Do you want to be like them? Do you look up to them? Have your friends been the same for many years?
• Who are you? What are your core values? What principles drive your daily decisions? How have you changed over the years?

If you do not like the answers to the questions, think about whether a change of scenery would be of benefit to you. When someone is doing something bad, people often recommend rehabilitation. In rehabilitation, one’s scenery is changed. If one isn’t serious about the change, they leave rehab and return to their old routines. You have to want the change.

Norman Vince Peale said “Change your thoughts and you change your world.” Do not underestimate the role that your company plays in your thoughts and ultimately your success. Bad company can paralyze your present and crumble your future. You cannot have high expectations for your life and low consideration for your company. Not sure of the character of a person, look at his friends. This is what many employers do when evaluating prospective employees. To some extent, your friends define and influence who you are and where you are going.

You choose your company. There is a mutual acceptance of who we surround ourselves with and in some instances, both people are on different levels. Think of someone you really admire and then take notice of their inner circle. You are either elevating your friends or causing their decline. You friends are either elevating you or causing your decline.

CHOOSE to surround yourself with people who believe in you, people who think, people who have vision, people who motivate you, inspire you, and push you in a positive direction. You choose!

Finally, be the person you want to meet. If you are friends with people who represent a desired end state for you, it is in your best interest to demonstrate positive and upward evolution lest they think you are not worth their company.