Have you ever felt a sense of guilt when you accomplished something? It is the feeling that people are going to look at you with jealousy or with some sort of disdain due to your recent success. This feeling is usually followed by the act of downplaying your success. The fear of failure is often discussed more than the fear of success. Let's ask the difficult questions.
Will success make me less likeable? Will I be unable to find someone to love me once I become too successful? Will the ones that love me now be intimidated by my success? Am I worthy of success? Do I fear the thing that I want? Will people want or expect more from me when I become successful?
First, success is relative to you. You define your success. The act of comparative thinking is never good. When we compare ourselves to others, we cannot help but be dissatisfied. I once dated a guy who was always comparing my accomplishments to his and other's accomplishments to his and as a result, he always felt inadequate. There was nothing I could do about it. Even when I tried to celebrate with him a success he had achieved, it was always overshadowed by a comparison to someone else. At the same time, every time I had an opportunity to achieve something that required his buy-in or support, this boyfriend was the first to find a reason why I should not take the first step. After a while, it became an exhausting exercise in ego boosting. As a victim of comparative thinking by yourself and by others, your success becomes downplayed or envied, not celebrated.
Yes, it is true that when you do achieve personal success, some of your relationships will change. But you worked hard for your success. If those around you are unhappy about your success, that is their problem. Be present in your success and enjoy it.
Even feel free to share your success with others guilt free. The right person will feel motivated by your accomplishments, not intimidated or inadequate.
Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy. - Guillaume Apollinaire
Ms. Bhakti Mary
I am an optimistic, positive, generous and driven author who is passionate about self-improvement.
The essence of who you are does not lie in the past. What matters is what you are willing to do NOW. You are the presence.